Apparently, I am cracked out…

as my friend, Jackie, has officially confirmed today.

1.  I have the most ridiculous, inappropriate crush on Hillary Clinton.  Maureen has prophesized that if (when?) Hillary becomes president I will get a job as her hot intern and then have a Lewinsky-style affair with her.  Much like the prophets and prophetesses that have come before her, I’ve pretty much dissmissed Maureen’s words as bullshit…though I will admit that I have my fingers crossed!  (*Giggle*)

2.  I am a slightly bummed out that my biblical lit. class ended today because I think I have developed a crush on my *ahem* sixty year old professor.  I seriously don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.  However, I think the more I look over the take home final she handed out on Monday evening the more I may find myself getting waaaay over that crush.  Ironically, when I first looked at the mid-term exam she handed out, I wanted to laugh–it was almost the exact same document as the freakin’ study guide she handed out!  Because I have a natural habit of making things way more difficult than they really need to be, I didn’t use the study guide as much and instead read almost ALL of the stupid old testament AS WELL AS all of the assigned chapters in the textbook.  As you might surmise, it didn’t quite work to my advantage.  Unfortunately, she really threw the book bible at us!  Did I mention I am the idiot who asked if she would consider making it a take home in the first place?  Um…Hi?  CRACKED.  OUT.  Why did I not realize that instructors usually make take-home tests more challenging?  When it was officially announced that the final would indeed be a take home, she (the professor) suggested that some one take me out for coffee or a drink for my idea.  Uh..yeah…and after I’m finished with this test, I’m going to fucking NEED it!  For now?  I want to cry.  Then again, I kind of have a thing for challenges….and professors who challenge me?  I know!  WTF?  I’ll shut up.

3.  Weird “me” trivia: I also have a crush on Stephanie from Top Chef.  I am addicted to the show!  Go Stephanie!!!

4.  More weird ”me” trivia:  The song Dani California by the Red Hot Chili Peppers makes me want to do dirty things to Kat von D. 

5.  And a lil more weird “me” trivia:  I have officially added “have a short writing stint for Saturday Night Live” to the list of things I want to do before I die.  I seriously need to stop finding stuff that I am interested in. 

*le sigh*

Today has been a long day.

I am officially putting the crack-pipe down now. 

~ by Jessica Kate on May 7, 2008.